The origins of this painting began in late spring.
The weather was becoming humid and hot. Spring would slowly turn into Summer. I was feeling very uncomfortable on my daily traveling commute during this time. People on the subway were feeling very irritated as there was a lack of air-conditioning. I would be a witness to many pushes and shoves between commuters. There was a feeling all around that was uncaring and rude. It was something I was constantly ignoring, but not happy with. I just tried to immerse myself in other things but would always get a reminder in some shape or form. In the background, shootings and violence were on the rise in Toronto.
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I was trying to work on something different to keep my mind off of things. But, I was struggling with the idea I wanted to do, or a composition at least. The heat was keeping me indoors with its humidity and I wasn’t feeling very clear about what I wanted. Then, a few small events occurred during the week that would shift my mood to that of disgust and anger. Whatever previous ideas I had originally, had evaporated.
I was angry, not in an outburst sort of way, but shimmering like a pot of boiling water about to spill over. It wasn’t something obvious or something directed at a specific person. I wanted to understand where my contempt was coming from and whether it was warranted. I didn’t want to be feeling this way, but ignoring it wasn’t helping.
I began to look into doing some research into these criminals, reading articles and listening to various taped interviews. The information collected from psychologists seemed to suggest various factors. The most common one was a dramatic event in their lives that happened, led them to this path. Some had embraced it and others appeared cold and unfeeling to what they had done. No remorse or feeling in their reaction. There was a truth that was very ugly and much more disgusting. The actions and behavior of these individuals I do not condone.
Listening to these interviews made me think about how others interact with daily life. This idea of distortion and the perception of a disturbed individual became something I felt needed exploring. The hidden anguish was something more human, yet, felt very biblical to me. I came up with a drawing that was the view point of a distorted messiah. I didn’t want to make it super violent because it would take away the point. In some way, my choice not to create violent imagery was a subtle “middle” finger to everything that was going on.
When I reminisce about this painting, I feel as though I had anxiously overworked it. Perhaps, I could have pushed this concept much further. The heat and the humidity was a factor. Some things I might have done differently, from a technical point of view. For all its flaws, the energy in it is still there, simplicity, raw, and reflected the mood I was in. In that regard, I find it very appealing. Despite it all, I still feel very fortunate to get a finished painting out of this. So that is enough.
Victor Ramirez
*THE ART OF VICTOR RAMIREZ*© All written articles and visual images are the copyright and creation of Victor H. Ramirez-vichramirez2015, and not affiliated with rhometechdesign.com
THE ART OF VICTOR RAMIREZ 